Telephone Travails

The cellphone hardly stopped ringing, and that too in the national roaming when my balance was on reverse mode. Still, i picked up calls and following is a series of conversations with unknown numbers! 

Sir, we are giving you special 10% discount on down payment for your dream flat in Greater Noida. When can you come for a visit?
No, I don't need it right now.

But after Navratri, you will not get any discount Sir.

But i don't want to buy a flat at all.... forget discount!

Sir, i heard from one of my friends that your company is hiring. Can i send a CV?

Right now, i'm not at office. Can i call you back next week?

But Sir i'll be in Delhi then. My cellphone will be switched off.

But i'm in Shimla for a mountain bike rally. How can i say my office is hiring or not?

Sorry Sir, i must be disturbing you. Are you riding now?

No.

OK. Then let me send my CV to your mail. Can i have your mail id Sir?

Yes. Write it down....

Am i speaking with...

Yes.

Sir, your DP account has gone into negative.

Yes. That's because of the non-performing stocks in a bad market.

Yes Sir. It's just an alert and a reminder so that you can deposit Rs 880.13 to our account.

OK. i'm out of Kolkata at present. Can i do it next week?

Sure. But can you please write down the amount? Rs 880.13.

Thank you. 

Hello.

Yes.

Do you remember me?

Of course. I usually don't forget anyone. But i can't make out who you are as the number hasn't been saved.

Oh! Then you must have forgotten me!

OK. Whoever you are, can i call you back in 10 days after i'm back to Kolkata.

Where are you?

I'm middle of nowhere. At 7,500ft, i cannot tell you the exact name of the village but it's in Himachal.

Wow! Enjoying with wife?

Not at all. Haven't had lunch yet. Going to rescue a cyclist who fell on downhill broken tarmac?

Oh! How come? Where's your wife?

She is in Kolkata.

So what are you doing in Himachal?

I can still do a lot of things without my wife.

You must be joking.

No. I'm serious. 

OK. It seems you are not in a mood to talk now. Give me a call once you are back.

OK. Will do.

Sir, your subscription is due to expire in December.

Yes i know.

Sir, we are offering fabulous discount and goodies to our existing subscribers.

OK. 

Sir, for how many years are you going to subscribe?

Right now, i cannot take this call. Drop me a mail. Will get back to you.

But Sir, our subscription offer ends today only. You will get instant Rs 500 off, a pair of shoes, a pair of sunglasses, a trolley bag, two holiday guide books.

OK. I'm in Himachal at present. I can consider if your offer is valid for at least one more week. 

So Sir, should i put a tick on five-year plan?

Nope.

Then 3 years?

Nope. I've net connectivity problem here. Let me take a look at the mail and i'll get back to you.

But Sir if you don't give your nod today, i'll miss the target.

Target? What?

Yes Sir. Please. I have promised them 10 subscriptions today.

Tomorrow, we are meeting at Chowringhee. Are you coming, na?

No.

Why? You have been riding cycle for so long and a long associate with us.

Right. But i can't join the Chakra Cycle Satyagraha on Gandhi Jayanti.

But you are supporting our cause to demand in lifting the cycling ban in Kolkata, na?

Yes, of course. 

So, we can use your name as one of the signatories, right?

Sure!

Arreh boss!

Bataiye!

Your Reliance number is unreachable! What happened?

Nothing. You have reached me. That's all. How does it matter if another phone is unreachable?

But where are you?

I'm in a small village near Narkanda. 

Narkanda?

Yes. Himachal.

What are you doing there?

Helping riders finish off MTB Himalaya.

Oh! Are you riding? Should i call back later?

No. Have i said so?

No. But i thought...

Anyway. But who are you? Your number is not saved.

I'll be in Kolkata during the Puja.

Great!

Yes, we should meet one day. 

Sure!

Happy riding!

I'm not riding idiot!